European-style Flowers

Beyond Blossoms flower company wants to provide you with the freshest flowers around, with the best designs, and the lowest prices at their online store. With flowers imported directly from farms around the world, they can save you money while giving you the freshest flowers available.

Using a European style design they showcase a complementary mix of flowers and greens in matching colors. This creates a more sophisticated look than a typical “garden” style bouquet filled with a wild mix of mismatched flowers. Take a look at their site and notice the ease of use as well as the rewards program available that will undoubtedly earn you reward points as you keep coming back for more.

Poor Timmy

Little Tim was in the garden filling a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence.

Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Tim?"

"My goldfish died," replied Tim tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him."

The neighbor said, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it, Tim?"

Tim patted down the last heap of earth and replied, "That's because I couldn't get him out of your cat."

Software development cycle

1. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.

2. Product is tested. 20 bugs are found.

3. Programmer fixes 10 of the bugs and explains to the testing department that the other 10 aren't really bugs.

4. Testing department finds that five of the fixes didn't work and discovers 15 new bugs.

5. Repeat three times steps 3 and 4.

6. Due to marketing pressure and an extremely premature product announcement based on overly-optimistic programming schedule, the product is released.

7. Users find 137 new bugs.

8. Original programmer, having cashed his royalty check, is nowhere to be found.

9. Newly-assembled programming team fixes almost all of the 137 bugs, but introduce 456 new ones.

10. Original programmer sends underpaid testing department a postcard from Fiji. Entire testing department quits.

11. Company is bought in a hostile takeover by competitor using profits from their latest release, which had 783 bugs.

12. New CEO is brought in by board of directors. He hires a programmer to redo program from scratch.

13. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.

You Can't Do It On Your Own

Are you one of those guys that has thought about dating Russian women? You can't seem to find a mate here in the States, so you figure you might as well try and find a Russian woman who might think you are all that?

If you are you might as well click the link and get to it. The Russian women aren't going to find you, but when you find them they are loyal and ready to get married. Get someone who is way above your class and find the woman of your dreams who is ready to get married. What other choice do you have? You aren’t going to find a woman this hot on your own.

Grandma's Plan

One day, Jimmy is walking home from school. When he gets home, he finds his grandpa sitting on the Porch without any pants on!

So he goes up to his grandpa and says "Grandpa, do you realize that you're not wearing any pants?" His grandpa replies "Yes Jimmy, I do."

Jimmy then says "Well, why are you outside without any pants on Grandpa?"

His grandpa looks at Jimmy and responds "Well Jimmy, yesterday I sat outside without a shirt to long, and I got a stiff neck. This was your grandma's idea."

Snow Day

It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the high school intercom: "Will the students who are parked on University Drive please move their cars so that we may begin plowing."

Twenty minutes later there was another announcement: "Will the twelve hundred students who went to move 26 cars, return to class."

Send Funeral Flowers

Finding out someone you know has died is always tragic. Knowing that you can’t go to the funeral because you live so far away is no excuse not to at least send your condolences to the family. Funeral flowers are the right choice and they can easily be sent from an online shop. FlowerShop.com is a family-owned floral company with almost 35 years of experience in the flower industry that is dedicated to providing their customers with fresh flowers and unique gifts to express their thoughts and feelings. Most of their products can be hand-delivered by local florists on the same day so that you can even get what you need if time is an issue.

Nation's Snowmen March Against Global Warming

It's about time someone stood up against the atrocity that has befallen the lovable snowman. Global warming may make us sweat more, but think of the snowman. HE is melting away at a rate of 1 cm per year and it is just going to get worse as the temperatures rise. Soon we will have no snowmen. They will be extinct.

WASHINGTON, DC—Braving balmy temperatures and sunny skies, millions of scarfless snowmen and snowwomen gathered in cities across the world Tuesday to raise public awareness about the heavy toll global warming is taking on their health and well-being.

According to organizers of marches in Washington, Atlanta, Montreal, Berlin, London, Reykjavik, and Moscow, global warming is the primary cause of the steep reduction in the snowman population throughout the Northern Hemisphere. Demonstrators worldwide called on their governments to take more aggressive steps to reduce the effects of climate change.

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Kids Say the Darndest Things

A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl's grandmother. On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked,

"Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?"

"Of course not, dear." replied the mother, "Why would you think that?"

"The tombstone back there said 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'"

Waiting Until Valentine's Day to Buy a Gift? Don't.

Valentine’s Day is right around the corner again and you need to find a gift. I know you want to wait until February 14th on your lunch break to spend 3 times as much for some half dead roses, but you might as well just get going on it now and do it online quick and painless.

GourmetGiftBaskets.com has the perfect gift for the man with a mouse attached to his hand. Pre-designed Valentines Day Gift Baskets, or if you really care, one customized by you. Filled with the finest chocolates, nuts, wines, and fruits from the finest orchards, vineyards, and cheese makers in the world you can’t possibly go wrong. Quit buying the same roses and chocolate hearts that nobody ever eats and get something thoughtful.

Still a Top 5 Favorite Tune

Pearl Jam's Yellow Ledbetter is still in my top 5. Just an all out great tune. I guess Pearl Jam is long gone and their music is dead, but it is still on my "On the Go" playlist on my iPod and I will listen to it every time it comes on. Best tune they ever did, and they had a lot of good tunes.

Retire Jay-Z and Don't Come Back

Your newest album is trash. I could have done with out it. I have no love for it and I am pissed off that I bought it. Well i didn't buy it, but I wasted 2 minutes downloading it and I'm not impressed. If you are going to fake retirement you better come back stronger than this. Screw you and your Budweiser comercials too. You need more white guy in a long trench coat and a ZZ Top beard bobbing his head in your car.

All-inclusive Resort Vacations

Vacations.net has launched a new cutting edge website with savings up to 50% off for the all-inclusive travel experience. They have a new customized booking engine with intuitive functionality that separates it from its competitors. The savings include the all inclusive family resort getaways which are sure to please.

www.Vacations.net, offers new features such as: compelling visual images & virtual tours, in-depth information on the destinations including amenities & recreational activities, thorough information on accommodations with detailed room options, all-inclusive vacations sorted by vacation style and related preferences, Resort ratings from travelers who have experienced the resort first-hand, and much more. Many popular beach and sun destinations packages, including Dominican Republic, Jamaica, and Mexico.

N.J. warns: Don't eat squirrel near dump

First of all eating a squirrel is pretty damn nasty. Second of all anyone who has to be warned about eating squirrels they shoot by a toxic waste dump whould just be told to eat them. We can do with less of these people. Am I right?

TRENTON, N.J. - New Jersey has warned squirrel hunters near a toxic waste dump about consuming the critters because they could be contaminated with lead.

It is the first time the state has cautioned Ringwood residents - many who are members of the Ramapough Mountain Indian tribe who hunt and fish in the area - about their squirrel intake, said Tom Slater, a spokesman for the Department of Health and Senior Services.

A lead-contaminated squirrel was found in the area two months ago, prompting the agency, along with the state Department of Environmental Protection, to send out letters advising that adults eat squirrel no more than twice a week and even less for children and pregnant women.

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Bloody 3-iron

Police are called to an apartment and find a woman holding a bloody 3-iron standing over a lifeless man. The detective asks,

"Ma'am, is that your husband?"

"Yes" says the woman.

"Did you hit him with that golf club?"

"Yes, yes, I did." The woman begins to sob, drops the club, and puts her hands on her face.

"How many times did you hit him?"

"I don't know, six, maybe seven times.....just put me down for a five."

Fishing with the Right Equipment

When heading out to sea a man needs to know where he is going and how to stay safe. To do that he must have the proper equipment with him at all times. Not only have it, but have it be reliable. NortheastMarineElectronics.com wants that experience to be enjoyable and stress free so they only offer the highest quality products available from the best manufacturers at the best prices. A wide selection of fish finders, GPS systems, radar, Chartplotters
, depth finders, binoculars, compasses, and instructional videos from the best manufacturers around are there and what you need. You will also find electronics for camping, hiking, hunting, fishing, boating, and driving.

Out All Night Drinkin'

An Irishman's been at a pub all night drinking. The bartender finally
says that the bar is closed. So he stands up to leave and falls flat
on his face. He figures he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and
maybe that will sober him up.

Once outside he stands up and falls flat on his face. So he crawls
home and at the door stands up and falls flat on his face. He crawls
through the door and up the stairs.

When he reaches his bed he tries one more time to stand up. This time
he falls right into bed and is sound asleep.

He awakens the next morning to his wife standing over him shouting at
him. "So, you've been out drinking again!!"

"How did you know?" he asks.

"The pub called, you left your wheelchair there again."

New York plans official city condom

Whatever works. Can't possibly hurt, but where are the crazy protesters? You can't give away condems with out people who should have probably not been born if their parents had used them yelping in the streets about promoting sex can you? Sorry, I just hate protesters. Protesting is a waste of time hippies.

NEW YORK (AP) - Available soon from City Hall: an official New York condom in a jazzy wrapper, perhaps one printed with a colourful subway map or some other city theme.

New York City hands out 1.5 million free condoms a month in ordinary wrappers, and health officials figure people would be more likely to actually use them if the packaging were more distinctive.

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Getting a Boston Condo

CondoCompany.com has announced the launch of CondoList which allows anyone to find the condos they need to buy or sell in Boston. Realtors, owners, and developers can list Boston Condos for sale and buyers can find them with a few clicks.

CondoCompany.com is the number one searched condominium dedicated site on the Internet receiving thousand of unique visitors every day looking to buy sell or rent condos.

CondoCompany.com also recently launched a program called "Building Specialists". This program is designed for real estate agent who specializes in a particular condo building. Generally this is used for luxury high rise condos. Meeting certain requirements these agents can connect with buyers easily.

Welsh dairy farmers labelling milk with personal ads

This idea is pretty hilarious and ingenious I guess. When you have the means to pimp yourself out like that as a guy you might as well take advantage of it. Good luck gentlemen. May you find the cow...er wife of your dreams.

LONDON (AP) - Got milk? Got a date? A group of dairy farmers are putting single's ads on milk cartons in the hopes of finding Mr. or Mrs. Right in the far-flung countryside of Wales.

The novel approach to the singles' scene coincides with Thursday's celebration of St. Dwynwen's Day, the Welsh patron saint of lovers.

"My family thinks I'm nuts," said 30-year-old farmer Iwan Jones, who appears on the cartons and hasn't had a date in a year. "My friends think it's hilarious - but everyone's taking it with kind of a lighthearted attitude."

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Top Ten Cell Phones of 2006

With the huge supply of new phones from 2006, what exactly were the best ones? I know which one I like, and have, but take a look at what the experts picked as Wirefly announces the Top 10 cell phones of 2006.

I actually have the Verizon RAZR mentioned that came in at #3. Absolutely the best phone I’ve ever had, and I’ve probably had about 30 phones in my lifetime. Can’t really argue with the list at all. I have a nice (RED) one that also got a percentage of the purchase sent to the research and help of women and children in Africa suffering from AIDS. What do you think is the best phone from 2006?

Unemployment polls (joke)

For the past three years, the government has worked hard and spent many tax dollars to find the approval ratings for unemployment.

They have concluded that a 7% unemployment level is acceptable to 93% of the working population.

Now let's just hope that the unemployment rate doesn't change.

Belisi

Belisi want you to know his story. Since I’m a blogger I am going to link you to his story, which coincidently enough is posted on his blog. Belisi - How it Started tells the tale of how he went from nothing to growing a highly successful business. The thing that makes me like the company so much is that with every purchase they offer a portion of the sale to the favorite charity of YOUR choice. How can you not like a company like that?

As for the blog, Being Belisi has put together a great informational blog that helps you not only learn to how to use accessories to make your looks, but also what accessories you need to create an eye-popping style. Besides that he gives a bit of insight into his fashion knowledge to keep you looking good. You will find blog posting about many celebrities with his personal take on their unique styles. With an array of interesting ideas and thoughts on fashion in general it is easy to see why his company is becoming one of the premiere accessory dealers in the world. Look to his story for inspiration and his blog for great tips on how to look great all the time. You might even finally learn how to tie a tie.

Classic Pick Up Lines (joke)

I wish you were a door so I could bang you all day long.

(Lick finger and wipe on shirt) Let's get you out of these wet clothes.

Nice legs....what time do they open?

Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.

You've got 206 bones in your body, want 1 more?

I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a BIG BREASTED BED THRASHER, have you seen one?

I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest women on earth tonight.

Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag.

I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.

Is that a ladder in you stockings or the stairway to heaven?

You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy.

I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue.

You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.

You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions?

Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.

My friend wants to know if YOU think I'm cute?

Valentine's Day and Lingerie

Never have I shied away from buying lingerie for my girlfriend of the moment. It’s pretty much like getting a gift for me, but it always makes her feel special as well. Nothing better than to show her how attractive and sexy you think she is than to give her something special to wear for you. Even better if you can pick up some Free Sexy Lingerie either, now is there? I’ve had some great Valentine’s Days with a gift of lingerie and I plan on having quite a few more. This year is no exception. Do yourself a favor and get on your lady’s good side by showing her how hot you think she really is.

Shelby Cobra sells for US$5.5M

Can you imagine this? $5.5 million for a car? These people are out of their minds. I wouldn't pay $55,000 for a car much less millions no matter what it was. Thing better drive itself.

SCOTTSDALE, Ariz. (AP) - An 800-horsepower Shelby Cobra, once the personal car of the racing veteran who developed the iconic vehicle, has sold for US$5.5 million at auction, a record for an American car.

The sale of the 1966 Shelby Cobra "Super Snake" brought a packed house to its feet Saturday at the Barrett-Jackson Collector Car Auction after a pair of bidders drove the price up.

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Working From Home Info

Working at home is the dream of many. That is why so many “Get Rich Quick” schemes are out there and why so many people fall for them. I work from home and let me tell you that it isn’t a walk in the park everyday. I don’t have jobs that make me a huge amount of money on their own and I don’t have a job that allows me to make all my money in as few as an hour a day on most days. I do however have a mixture of jobs I do that when put together allow me to make a decent income at home.

There are many places to find work at home jobs, but online it is becoming difficult to search through them. That is why I look at a site like www.whydowork.com to get some opportunities I can use. There are great job postings, articles, tips, and discussion groups on how to earn a living from the comfort of your home. The sooner you take a look the better. They have full-time jobs and jobs to earn supplemental income as well.

Bears or the Colts?

This game could be a really tight defensive struggle or really get out of hand. The Bears were probably the last team I wanted to see in the Super Bowl simply because they can make games look really ugly. Even though they showed dominance all season in a really weak NFC they tend to play terrible at times. Rex Grossman is terrible. There is no other way to put it so they have to hope th edefense and Hester the return man can make some big plays to make up for this terrible offense.

On the other hand, the Colts had the worst rushing defense this year I have ever seen. A stat that was mentioned during the AFC Championship game was that they had allowed 100+ yards rushing in EVERY game this season. That hasn't happened in a couple of decades, yet they are in the Super Bowl. Their defense isn't why they won so many games this year, butit does its job when it has to. It is built to play with a lead. Super fast DEs like Dwight Freeney to put pressure on the QB and make big plays when they have the offense to put up points.

The Super Bowl I think is going to end up with the Colts putting up a lot of points and blowing the Bears out. The only way the Bears compete in this game is if they can get themselves a couple of early defensive scores or a huge kickoff/punt return to get a head. Then they can run the ball with Jones and Benson. IF not, they are in for a long day. The Colts can score on anyone and they will score on the Bears.

Microraptor may have resembled Wright bros. plane

This is about a dinosaur. Not some weirdo that never got his plane off the ground. The Microraptor was a giant bird, but according to this article, interestingly enough, had the look of a biplane with two sets of wings? Amazing what types of animals roamed the earth millions of years ago. Always interesting to hear about a new discovery.

WASHINGTON (AP) - When the Wright brothers first took to the sky in a biplane, they were using a design nature may have tried 125 million years earlier.

A new study of one of the earliest feathered dinosaurs suggests it may have had upper and lower sets of wings, much like the biplanes of early aviation. Today, the biplane is widely considered an old-fashioned rarity.

And the design is no longer seen in birds, though it's not clear if it was a step on the way to modern birds or a dead end, tested by nature and discarded.

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From Bartender to Bigshot

Peter Belisi was once a bartender for the trendsetters who embodied the luxury lifestyle he craved. Seeing these people he longed to turn himself into a trendsetter and to have the look of his clientele. He began to invest any extra money he had into a tie collection with the belief that the accessory makes the wardrobe. Never wanting to wear the same tie twice he began to get noticed by many of those he rubbed elbows with and came up with an idea to begin his own business.

This business is Belisi Fashions. Their goal is to provide great style with quality accessories as well as give back to the community. He has earned a loyal following for his high-end, quality ties, and most recently has introduced scarves and handbags. Interesting story and great products.

Conn. woman, 114, oldest on record

Becoming the oldest person alive means that someone older just died. Either way meeting someone who is still functional at this age of 114 has to be incredible. I learned a long time ago that if you happen to meet someone who is much older than you to just sit back and listen to them talk. It is unbelivable the kinds of things that they have done and what you can learn from them. If I'm sitting at a bar, or any public place and happen to see an older guy at the bar I usually just pull up next to them at the bar and buy them a drink. Most times they can keep you entertained for hours. Veterans are my avorite people to talk to and I give them my utmost respect when they are around. I pretty much feel they can do whatever they want after what they have done.

HARTFORD, Conn. - A 114-year-old Connecticut resident who was born to former slaves in North Carolina has become the world's oldest known woman after the death this week of a Canadian woman.

Emma Faust Tillman, born Nov. 22, 1892, became the oldest validated female "supercentenarian" in the world when 115-year-old Julie Winnifred Bertrand of Montreal, Canada, died in her sleep early Thursday.

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Hair in a Hamburger (joke)

A man walks into a hamburger shop and orders a regular meal. Later, the waitress brings his meal to him. He takes a bite out of it, and notices there's a small hair in the hamburger. He begins yelling frantically at the waitress, "Waitress, there's a hair in my hamburger! I demand to see what is going on!"

So, the waitress takes him back where the cook is and to his demise, he sees the cook take the meat patty and flatten it under his arm pit. He says, "That's disgusting!"

Then the waitress says, "You think that's disgusting you should see him make donuts."

Investing in Gold

Buying gold has always been around and has always been considered a smart investment. Monex Deposit Company offer the ability to purchase gold bars and other precious medals for immediate personal delivery, or arrange for convenient and safe storage at and independent bank or depository.

Gold bars allow investors to diversify their portfolios and also to protect wealth and preserve one’s purchasing power. Precious metals are really one of the safest investments around so the ability to find a dealer is of the utmost importance. Check out the Monex Deposit Company website and see for yourself what their investments can do for you.

Useful Work Tips (jokes)

If you don’t know what it is, call it an ‘issue’…

If you don’t know how it works, call it a ‘process’…

If you don’t know whether its worth doing, call it an ‘option’…

If you don’t know how it could possibly be done call it a ‘challenge’ or an ‘exciting opportunity’…

If you want to confuse people, ask them about ‘customers’…

If you don’t know how to do something, ‘empower’ someone else to do it for you…

If you can’t take decisions, ‘create space’ for others to operate…

If you need a decision, call a ‘workshop’ to ‘network’ and ‘ground

the issue’, followed by an ‘awayday’ to ‘position the elephant in the room’ and achieve ‘buy-in’…

Never criticize or boast, call it ‘information sharing’…

Never call something a failure or mistake, its a ‘positive learning experience’…

Never argue, have an ‘adult conversation’…

Fox tests nation's fifth-grade knowledge

Are you smarter than a 5th grader? I'd like to think I was, but if they got into a bit of history from the biased version of history reported in schools I might have a hard time. Pretty sure I would survive all of the 3 "r"'s. Can't imagine it is too difficult, but who knows what they teach kids now. I might have to answer questions about some boy bands or other random crap like myspace questions.

PASADENA, Calif. - Every parent's nightmare - being exposed for not knowing what's in your kid's school textbook - will soon play out on national television.

Fox announced Saturday that it is making a new game show, "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?" that will air sometime later this year, perhaps as early as the spring.

Adults will compete in a quiz based on questions from elementary school textbooks. Actual elementary school students will be on hand as "experts" for the adults to consult with.

Full article

Learn How to Drive

Geico has always been a leader online of providing customers a great place to not only compare, but to purchase the right automobile insurance for any driver. Besides offering various quote comparisons and the ability to purchase, Carinsurance.com also provides many valuable online educational materials for all types of drivers.

Following their trend of providing more and more education, Geico has recently added "Teens and Trucks" to its online library of safe driving materials for teen drivers. The materials help to educate young drivers on how to drive safely on the highway by discussing various situations a driver may face. Not only do they have this material for teens, but the materials are helpful for drivers of all ages.